Highly Gifted and the Courage to Connect

We assume that being highly gifted carries with it a capacity for self expression and a comfort in communication. As if the gift naturally comes with an accompanying mechanism that facilitates sharing. It is often exactly the opposite.

If one’s giftedness was not appreciated when one was a child, or one was ridiculed or felt alienated, one can feel extraordinarily isolated. Often, one’s gifts limit one’s capacity for the superficial conversation that greases the wheels of social interaction. When your cognitive skills are highly developed, you may also miss social cues that create the fabric of how we are with others.

The longing to belong, to connect, to live in a field of connectedness is as strong for the gifted as for anyone else. However, the road to this belonging is much harder to find. The mere act of reaching out and asking for help can be excruciating for the highly gifted.

Often, it takes great courage for a highly gifted person to even reach out to me. The act of phoning or emailing can be an incredibly vulnerable experience. The risk of being misunderstood, ridiculed or seen as in someway lacking can be hugely threatening. It is only by doing the hard, hard work of making contact with me that the highly gifted person has the chance in our first session to know that the possibility of being understood really does exist.