Reframing What it Means to be Gifted

When childhood experiences of ridicule or neglect are cleared, when you have surrendered the habit of repressing or denying your gifts, you can finally untangle yourself from the needs and realities of others. With a vocabulary for your extraordinary potential in the realms of emotional, spiritual, physical, mental or energetic awareness, you are ready to head off the map, charting new territory.

Leaving the World Behind

The world lags behind the gifted. Whether the gifted person is inventing new forms of dance, music, or poetry, or anticipating cultural changes decades in advance of the culture, the world will never be up to speed with the gifted. At best, this is frustrating, at worst, it is debilitating and heart breaking for the gifted person.

If you have healed from the wounding of being misperceived, pathologized or criticized during your formative years, then you can stand fully in your gifts while the world evolves at a slower speed of consciousness. It takes courage to be fully yourself, to explore and inquire into the areas that move you. In order to do this, you have to leave others behind.

It is a huge step for gifted individuals to stop using their gifts to meet the needs of others. There can be a great deal of conflict in making this change. Part of the complexity in all of this is that the gifted person was often counted on, valued by family members, for the very qualities that went unrecognized. In some ways, to step into one’s gift is to risk being obligated to others for one’s specialness*.

* While I do understand we live in a culture where being “special” is the rage – and where new age doctrine asserts the “oneness” of us all, there is an unavoidable uniqueness to gifted people that they do need to step into in order to find alignment. This has nothing to do with superiority. Once you step into your gifts, you are actually better able to be part of the “oneness”.

Creating an Internal Yardstick

When you no longer consider your uniqueness a threat – disruptive to the status quo – your personal truths and ways of sensing and knowing can become your compass. When you can distinguish between external expectations and your internal needs, you can recover your original inclinations and establish healthy ways of relating to your uniqueness.

Whether your gifts lie in the realms of the mental, emotional, energetic, spiritual or physical – you have a need to feel a deep connection to life. You have a need to feel meaning in your life and this meaning may come from a place that is unique to you. Your sensitivity and commitment to truth mean you will always be driven to evolve. Thus, your life will not have a trajectory that is like that of someone who is content with things as they are. You will need to allow for your own continued evolution.

Your highly elaborate imaginational or mental world means that you may always need time to process on your own. You need to find ways to value and respect your need for solitude, rather than believing you should be like others.

Your advanced level of integrity, compassion, and insightfulness will mean that you make decisions about, and attend to, aspects of relationships that may be invisible to other people. You hold yourself to standards that can not be the standards for other people.

The new yardstick by which you assess your own life may include:

  • Attending to the things about which you are passionate
  • Honoring your specific dietary and sleep needs
  • Choosing social engagement based on what suits you
  • Defining your own level of saturation in given settings
  • Distinguishing work settings and qualities that suit you
  • Clarifying your values and goals and how they may differ from those of others.

Redefining Success

When you redefine success, you surrender a universal standard of success. When you identify and clear the internalized cultural expectations about what are “appropriate” life paths or goals, your ability to honor your own inclinations is strengthened. You are able to listen to subtle promptings that call you in unforeseen directions. You more easily allow your passions or absorptions to be the path to guide your unfolding. This may mean there is no goal or outcome by which you define yourself. You may be destined to explore the unexplored – there may be no maps for your destination.

New notions of success might include:

  • maintaining your equilibrium/center in times of chaos or crisis
  • maintaining clarity about your values when you are in the minority
  • ability to self sooth
  • ability to be fulfilled by what occupies you
  • finding meaning in what you do
  • being authentic
  • ability to be honest
  • being fearless
  • comfort with emptiness
  • absence of ego
  • allocating time in a way that works for you
  • focusing on inner promptings, not external expectations
  • being comfortable in your role as a maverick
  • stepping into the role of a change agent
  • independence from the actions of others
  • equanimity
  • the ability to love and accept others where they are
  • cultivating your potential in spiritual and creative realms
  • increased alignment in all dimensions of your being