The Healing of a Healer

If you’re a healer, it’s likely that as a child you experienced states of heightened awareness. As a highly sensitive child, your differences from others, and their responses to you, may have made you feel that something was wrong with you. Since our culture does not recognize other dimensional awareness, those of us who came into the world with our senses heightened, tended to have our awareness pathologized.

While you may have been called to develop your inborn gifts, you may have also walled off emotional scars, resentments and deep insecurities which were the result of living in a world that feared and denied realms that were very real to you as a sensitive person. You may have split off parts of yourself to survive in the world.

My understanding of the term wounded healer is one who has not found the way to heal the core wounding experienced from living in an ignorant world. Many healers never do this work. They settle into their skills and identify with their gifts, ignoring the parts of themselves that are never at ease in being alive.

Because of the degree of alienation and inner confusion, a sensitive can find it intolerable to face the dark places within. However, until they do this inner work, I believe they can find working as a healer dangerous to themselves and their patients.

Without knowing it, you may have survived by using your innate ways of sensing and attuning to manage untenable interpersonal situations. Instead of learning that you had gifts and that they were tools to be taken out and put away, you ended up living in a chronic state of attuning through your heightened state of awareness.

It is essential that you develop boundaries that enable you to have choice in the ways and the occasions when you use your gifts. This involves healing early traumas and establishing an inner sense of safety so that you have choice in how you pay attention to the world around you.

While therapy is a key piece to recovering one’s third dimensional story (and this is not the work I do), a therapist who is unaware of multiple dimensions of awareness – from somatic, to energetic, to spiritual, may be unable to thread through core experiences and knowings that you need to bring forward to integrate all levels of your understanding.

If a healer does not dive down to the place of core wounds, there is a likelihood that in the work he or she will:

  • become attached to the role of healer
  • identify with the form as the source, rather than consider it as one manifestation of universal energy
  • override client agendas and rhythms
  • ignore core issues in clients
  • project unresolved themes onto clients
  • be unable to have a neutral energy field while working
  • be defensive and unable to be open to a client’s feedback.

The healer’s process of reorientation does not necessitate that core emotional issues and energetic entanglements are cleared. These core unresolved dynamics explain the darkness that one can sense when working with a practitioner. The healer has focused on the skills, rather than attending to personal evolution and resolution of core conflicts.

As a healer, you may face the challenge of being moved to help others while also needing to attend to your own wounds and growth. Since it is so hard to find a colleague skilled enough to help you facilitate your own evolution, you may postpone attending to your own internal prompting toward further transformation.

For many born with innate gifts, it is tempting to leap into the transcendent without fully embodying in the physical dimension. But in order to be fully present as an incarnated being, you must clear the original injuries and misunderstandings that limit your clarity. As long as there are unaddressed core level conflicts hidden by protective mechanisms of thought, you will be unable to be a neutral presence as a practitioner.