The stories of healers who fail to exhibit professionalism in their interaction with clients always cause me distress. This failure to behave in a professional manner ranges from exhibiting inappropriate boundaries with clients to demonstrating a lack of consideration for clients. When you undertake a journey of healing, part of that journey involves being an advocate for yourself with practitioners who may not be conscious about how some of their choices impact you.
Below is a list of some of the experiences clients have with unconscious practitioners:
~ A practitioner showing up 20 minutes late to an appointment on a consistent basis.
~A practitioner allowing phone interruptions to sessions.
~Dirty, visually chaotic waiting rooms.
~A practitioner failing to return calls or failing to return calls in a timely manner.
~The use of scents in the practice, or the inappropriate prevalence of scents.
~Furniture that does not provide structural support in a practice that addresses structural issues.
~The absence of predictable and legible rituals of greeting and orienting, or disengaging from, a client.
~A pracitioner ignoring a client’s request that the practitioner not do a certain thing. A practitioner repeatedly ignoring a client’s request.
~Lack of clarity about protocol. This includes what to expect in an appointment or regarding follow-up.
~A practitioner sharing personal information with a client or expecting a client to become a friend.
~Disregard for confidentiality.
~A practitioner whose use of the computer blocks authentic engagement with the client.
~The inability of a practitioner to provide referrals for other work a client may need.
It is your job to have clear expectations about what makes for a healthy interaction in the healing work. If you know what to expect, and what you require to feel safe, then you are able to express to the practitioner what may not be working.
Part of the healing work is to identify if something is not working in the interaction. The anticipation of expressing some dysfunction to the practitioner may evoke fear in you. You may fear that sharing what is not working will put the relationship at risk.
Often, part of one’s childhood trauma involves splitting from oneself in order to get love. The predicament of deciding whether one continues to see an unconscious healer, (or a practitioner who is causing some harm), in order to “get help”, or if one will put that relationship at risk by stating one’s needs, is a repetition of the childhood dilemma. In facing this dilemma, one heals part of the childhood wound. Stepping into the place of self advocacy is one gift the unconscious healer offers you.